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#Revelations. Humorous collection
Igor Bovsunovsky
The collection includes the following, previously published in separate books, the author’s works:– “Revelations behind the wheel”;– “Revelations about hJUmoRISs”;– “50 Revelations about social networks.”
#Revelations. Humorous collection
Igor Bovsunovsky
© Igor Bovsunovsky, 2021
ISBNВ 978-5-0051-9092-5
Created with Ridero smart publishing system
Book one. Revelations behind the wheel
REVELATIONВ #1
There is aВ legend that if you stroke the dashboard inВ winter and gently touch the steering wheel, the car will start easier.
REVELATIONВ #2
No one is as surprising as aВ pedestrian who calmly went out onto the road from behind aВ bus while talking on the phone.
REVELATIONВ #3
Nothing raises self-esteem like waiting for aВ bright future near an unregulated pedestrian crossing.
REVELATIONВ #4
The real driver only turns left when the green light comesВ on.
REVELATIONВ #5
The seventies is such aВ professional with aВ sign on the glass who holds the steering wheel with only one hand, and not turn on the turns is his privilege.
REVELATIONВ #6
Unbelievable, but true: under “give way” a more expensive car has an advantage.
REVELATIONВ #7
The more limited the visibility ofВ the road, the more likely someone is there.
REVELATIONВ #8
AВ real driver always has aВ self-tapping screw inВ stock. InВ the tire. On the road.
REVELATIONВ #9
The number ofВ outbids is directly proportional toВ the kilograms ofВ putty on the car body.
REVELATIONВ #10
If you really want to, then you can turn left from the extreme right lane.
REVELATIONВ #11
AВ real pedestrian is aВ person who walks slowly, wearing headphones and aВ hood, outside the pedestrian crossing, without looking around.
REVELATIONВ #12
After installing aВ thin spare wheel, the priority vehicle speed is set toВ at least 100В km /В h.
REVELATIONВ #13
You don’t need to sleep for several hours to conquer sleep. It is enough to open all the windows and turn on the music at full volume.
REVELATIONВ #14
The cheaper the car, the louder the music plays inВ it.
REVELATIONВ #15
The closer aВ pedestrian is toВ aВ puddle on the carriageway, the faster you need toВ drive onВ it.
REVELATIONВ #16
If you are driving around the yard inВ the evening, it is not necessary toВ turn on the light. Enough dimensions. Better yet, step on the pedal, because all parking spaces can take.
REVELATIONВ #17
AВ real driver under the sign 60В always drives 68В km /В h.
REVELATIONВ #18
After washing, the car most ofВ all attracts the attention ofВ birds.
REVELATIONВ #19
Foam and wood are the best materials for repairing thresholds.
REVELATIONВ #20
The cheaper the car, the more accessories.
REVELATIONВ #21
AВ young driver is such aВ professional for whom turning always gives an advantage.
REVELATIONВ #22
It doesn’t matter how much on the speedometer. The main thing is to have time to pass the flashing traffic light.
REVELATIONВ #23
An unregulated pedestrian crossing is aВ podium where you can walk as slowly as possible. From the hip. Or you can even suddenly stop and go back.
REVELATIONВ #24
An outstretched hand ofВ aВ pedestrian can stop even aВ loaded truck inВ an instant.
REVELATIONВ #25
You shouldn’t ride a sport bike less than 200 km / h. So that without suffering.
REVELATIONВ #26
You don’t have to look in the rearview mirror to open the door and get out of the car. The truck will instantly stop in front of the opened door.
REVELATIONВ #27
AВ real racer turns on the high beam inВ revenge, because aВ real racer does not blind anyone. Racer who teaches others on the road.
REVELATIONВ #28
The earlier the driver turns on the turn in the field of view of the inspector, rebuilding to another lane, the more likely it is that he will be stopped, “pulled out” even from behind another car.
REVELATIONВ #29
If the design feature ofВ the car allows you toВ overcome sections ofВ the road with large puddles, then its speed should be directly proportional toВ the number ofВ participants inВ the oncoming lane.
REVELATIONВ #30
AВ real driver always makes current repairs inВ his car himself. And he does it first, and only then reads technical literature.
REVELATIONВ #31
The best toning ofВ car optics is nylon tights for women. Both budget and tinting level can be chosen.
REVELATIONВ #32
AВ bus leaving aВ stop must always beВ cut.
REVELATIONВ #33
The more people are at the pedestrian crossing, the more slipping it is necessary toВ get under way at aВ yellow traffic light.
REVELATIONВ #34
The earlier the car was painted, the more stickers itВ has.
REVELATIONВ #35
If there are no mud flaps on the car, and the asphalt is all wet, then the ideal solution is toВ keep someone on the tail at all times.
REVELATIONВ #36
If you are driving inВ the far right lane, you can turn around anywhere. Without turning on the turn signal. With the advantage inВ movement.
REVELATIONВ #37
No matter how many meters toВ the pedestrian crossing, the main thing is toВ cross the road faster.
REVELATIONВ #38
The norm is when aВ very brave cyclist without aВ protective uniform rushes toВ the far left side ofВ the road.
REVELATIONВ #39
Sometimes aВ speed limit sign is best placed on the sidewalk. Why does aВ cyclist need aВ road if there is less bandwidth.
REVELATIONВ #40
Some drivers are so harsh that they put on the brakes toВ get aВ sudden acceleration.
REVELATIONВ #41
Almost every driver chooses a bigger car. He only curses the car when he’s looking for a parking spot.
REVELATIONВ #42
Approaching the pedestrian crossing, you can see aВ lot ofВ interesting things. For example, aВ cyclist who jumped out onto the road. Who does not look around. Headphones. But the most interesting thing is that he holds the phone with one hand.
REVELATIONВ #43
They say the ideal car color is silver. The car is clean inВ the rain and heat. But the best color for the driver is black. Spray paint and all questions are closed.
REVELATIONВ #44
If the driver ofВ the car from the side waves his hand, then the driver ofВ the car inВ front will certainly slow down.
REVELATIONВ #45
The irony is when the car sales manager makes himself the best car consultant.
REVELATIONВ #46
If someone leaves with aВ secondary one, then it is imperative toВ accelerate as quickly as possible, and then actively honk.
REVELATIONВ #47
If the near one shines weakly, then no matter what, we turn on the far one, and we go further for our pleasure.
REVELATIONВ #48
If one of the headlights is cloudy, then the car is almost from the passenger compartment, and definitely not bit, and not painted. And there is no need to look at the spars. Bent wing – tuning. Exclusive. And anyway, you just want to drop the price of the car. Look: what shagreen! By the way, the tank is almost full. Do you take it?
REVELATIONВ #49
If you are going toВ drive with aВ trailer, then it is not necessary toВ connect the lights. You go during the day. Along the edge ofВ town. Everything will be okay.
REVELATIONВ #50
If you really want to, you can go straight at the roundabout.
Book two. Revelations about hJUmoRISTs
REVELATIONВ #1
#hJUmoRIST always knows everything about everything. This superman knows all the regulations and laws byВ heart, and reads court decisions toВ children at night.
REVELATIONВ #2
#hJUmoRIST has all specializations. He understands the administrative process, knows the civil code byВ heart, he knows all the nuances ofВ criminal law, and inВ the economic process he is generally aВ god.
REVELATIONВ #3
#hJUmoRIST has such connections that he only needs toВ call, and any legal issue will be closed at the same minute. He knows all the judges, prosecutors, who works when, and who has friends where.
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